I am perilously close to getting used to not going to work.
Yesterday I went to the office with my sore back, but left early to go to an acupuncturist. Today I stayed at home, as the pain was quite debilitating and the long walk across town from the train station to my office building crippled me yesterday. But today I did work and achieved a lot, in between sessions of lying flat on my back on the couch (working on healing).
I spent the morning drafting and redrafting my planting schedule for my new vege beds, including a monthly calendar of activities.
In the afternoon, I researched my family tree in the lead up to a mini family reunion this weekend. I used the Births, Deaths and Marriages indexes and Trove newspapers to come up with this.
I finished off the day with some weeding at dusk.
A full day of productive and immensely satisfying work. Unlike going to the same workplace day after day.
Not that there is anything wrong with my current job – in fact there are parts I feel are very meaningful and interesting, vastly unlike my last job with a consulting company where I was treated like an automaton, unable and not allowed to have feelings, opinions, ‘issues’, hormones, interests, commitments, responsibilities. Things I have in bucketloads. There, I was explicitly told by manager to leave the office building one time that I was crying. I was also told that work was my number one priority and I had to work my family life around that (I am a single mother!!!). That was the day I applied for my current job.
An indication of how traumatised I had been by the previous workplace – in my second week at my new job I had an unpleasant event happen in my life, and I was asked by my supervisor if I was going to be alright. My immediate response? Yes, I promise I won’t let it affect my performance. She repeated, no, are you going to be alright? I had forgotten how to be treated like a human being.
So when my manager yesterday showed concern and empathy regarding my back and said to take as much time off as I need to recuperate, then I know I am in a good place. And yet……the idea of spending most of my waking life away from my home where the real work needs to be done is grinding and weighing me down.